WISDOM
Dear X
Lord Buddha was a symbol of 'wisdom'. He is considered a wise man by a large number of his followers. I am sorry, there's an irony. What kind of a wise man leaves his family, wife, little kids sleeping at night? In search of what? Peace? God? And they start worshipping him?
What can I say... I am biased in my own faith. This was the first page of a diary that had a picture of Buddha on it, hoping that writing on it might knock some wisdom into my head. So, Buddha, my biased faith, my reason.
How would they have felt the next morning? Not finding their father, sleeping like just another day and waking up into a changed life. What would they have said to their father's decision 'for the greater good'. I do not know about the kids really but the woman must have hated him and the God, and yet prayed to the same God to make him wise enough, so he comes back to find love instead of peace or God.
Or maybe she finally made her peace with the whole husband running away situation and joined the crowd of followers, a face in the million, thinking her sacrifice was what God asked. So was it worth the sacrifice? His kids and wife were forgotten by the history, so are his teachings as they kill and burn down everything, all in the name of faith.
As I said, 'forgotten by the history', Google says, he only had one child and he left the palace the night he was born. Rahula never saw his father till the age of 7 and when he did he loved him.
Now, I know love at the age of 7, it's inspiring, it means hugging your uncle, getting a huge color box, spending happy Christmas days with a feeling of being desired or loved. So did Rahula, I mean no barbies, but following the righteousness, his father had left him for.
I can't say about the mother. I don't trust any old accounts written portraying women. They don't know what we really think and its been decades nobody would have known how she really felt.
I just hope Lord Buddha's peace the one he earned leaving his family, must have been enough for all of them. I hope it's enough for me. And enough for all those who are being burned, dying and those who are killing and burning them.
I have been losing sleep again X, I did cry but I am not tense, I think I need more stories. I am alone mostly so no people, no stories. I need to start reading again.
'The intent of speech' should not be deceiving. Truth is important. I don't understand. To what? What will it do?
There's a day after every dark night, hope for every burning faith.
I think its time to go home X. The lamp went out, coffee turned cold, my first yawn...
I am not being able to pray. I have done something bad, but then I do a lot of bad things, I just don't know which one is coming back at me. Or am I just searching for my peace and God too? leaving love and family.
Love was an earthly bond for him. But I belong to the earth. Lights are turned off. I should go now. May I don't speak to deceive.
RW